Creating a work of art, the object itself, a method, a style, a balance, feels like uncharted exploration. I feel as if I am wading into waters unknown, and every stroke of the paintbrush can either be glorious or disastrous at the same time. I have ruined a great number of paintings with as few brushstrokes as one, feeling the need to conquer the work, to impose my will on it, rather than let it be.
I suppose that I do this with a lot of things: try to make things that which they are not, make things of myself that I am not, simply to say they are of me or by me.
There are times when I take it a step too far just to take that step, when in reality I need to slow down. Sometimes I need to recognize that things may be just perfect as they are.
It’s odd because when I do think of art that I actually like, it’s never crowded. It’s tame. It has room to breathe, room to be what it actually is. This is much the same with clothing and, recently, my space (i.e., my living space). Things need room to be what they actually are and not made to be things that they are not. This applies with people and relationships as well… Many things are better left alone.
This is certainly not to say that it is easy to leave things minimal, to restrain your will. With a space in particular, it’s easy to be nostalgic, easy to want to put up and fill your space with things that you know: a pastis bottle from France here, a set of meaningless but interesting set of red acrylic dice there. It’s far easier to not keep things simple than it is to remove the noise. However, just because you’ve had things for so long does not mean you need to keep them. Just because you have been somewhere for so long does not mean you must stay there. Again, this can be related to people…
This is also, though, not merely to say that things should be reduced to simplicity simply for the sake of lifeless or ‘clean’ aesthetics (unless plastic aesthetics, ie. neoplasticism, is the end which a thing may be pursuing). For me, it is important that I am surrounded with, and thus, by proxy, constantly reminded of, the things and people who matter the most. I am but a sum of my experiences, and I do not dislike being reminded of this, but in all things you need balance. It is also easy to see how being reminded of ones past can have the opposite of a desired effect for some.
The things that do not make us into who we are, those things, it is healthy to get rid of, to throw out. I find myself throwing away a lot recently (giving away where applicable). I have begun to realize that I need not keep something just because someone gave it to me, even when that person is dear to me. I am also confident enough now to realize (or hope) that they would want me to feel the mental relief or calmness that comes with minimizing the clutter surrounding me. Clutter here is also not just physical but mental as well.
Throw things out, not just when they serve you no longer, but when you have evolved past or would like to evolve past being reminded of them.
